Thursday, November 26, 2015

Dependence Ports

Dependence Ports
The doorbell rang. It never rings at this time of the day she thought. After her husband had suddenly passed away, she had been so busy trying to keep the kids schedule as unchanged as possible that she didn't even really grieve at peace. The shock and loss of it was all that she had registered. Then the numbness of chores took over. But reality was peeking in from the corners. Savings were all but over. Relatives both his and hers were suddenly talking more about their problems whenever she spoke to them. As if she and her kids were going to pile onto them!! Oh! Vivek why did you have to come home so late from work that night. At least in rush hour people can't speed and run over others cars.
She went and opened the door. A chap was standing there. Smiling but looking like a fool. Two chaps wearing shirts with ties and sunglasses indoors were there with him.
The fatter of the 2 spoke. He's your new husband, he said. She looked at the three incredulously. Was this a Faustian joke being rendered with a gujju accent? the chap explained that this new improved husband not only had a better job than her deceased husband, he was more educated too, and from the same caste and gotra as him. Many cosmetic experts had claimed him far superior in look and build too. Had no vices at all, while Vivek was known to smoke occasionally. He is extremely fond of kids too according to his mother (but she stays in another city and would never visit). He has no affairs and will never be unfaithful.
Seema looked at them amazed and open mouthed. Screams rose and died within her head. she needed to thrash these 3 people, her husband was killed by a car owned by the chap who owned these minions and now he was buying her silence. She didn't speak. Just sat down in a dining chair.
Taking this for assent, the 2 oilies in ties sat down, while the new husband wanna be came and sat next to her. He had by now wiped the fake smile off his face. He sat opposite her and told her that he would not be replacing anyone. He himself would not be allow himself to be a replacement. He looked at her with genuine concern and said, I could probably marry someone else, but you too are young. The children are young. And if you go looking for love it may be too many stressful days before something materialises. Maybe never at all. After all, she did have an arranged marriage. Except for the circumstances in which they met, they would probably like each other had they met elsewhere. She did not have yto answer immediately, she could meet him for a few days before deciding. She scornfully replied that if she said no to him, would the oilies send another chap!? In all seriousness
He said yes. They could and would.
She gaped at all in a dazed manner but her mind was working furiously. This chap was sent by the man whose hands are tainted with her husband's blood. Should she not call security and have them thrown out?... But how long before she herself would default on the rent? What then? Term fees in the school are also due... But what can be done. Certainly not this idiotic option.
Was it so idiotic? Even if she got a job will she keep the kids in the same lifestyle as before? Was she really ready to rough it out in Vivek's memory? Was their love not already strained due to his work comes first lifestyle? She heard herself saying something. Like if she agreed to give this guy a shot what would she have to do? Drop the case, was the pat answer. But its out of my hands now, she said. The police will still pursue it, they had warned her. Don't worry about the police they had said, the driver who did this had already surrendered and justice will be carried out. You just sign here and leave the rest to us. They pushed some legal papers towards her. Suddenly, she said, what if he backs out then. He grabbed both her hands and said, I won't. But the two oilies also replied, he can't. You don't worry everything will be first class.
She took the pen.

Wednesday, November 4, 2015

imarat

Imarat
Main imarat hoon uske makaan ki.
Use meri haalat dikhaayee nahin deti
Wo makeen hai malik nahin
Na meri marammat uske bas ki hai
Na ab mujhse door jaane ki wo sochta hai
Wo to mujhe Ghar kehta hai
Jisme wo paida hua, khela, badaa hua,
Tab main jawaan tha, mazboot, rangeen
Mujhmein apne qad per naaz tha
Kitni shaadian mere aangan mein huin
Kitne jashn manaaye gaye
Jhagde bhi hue
Khatarnaak jhagde bhi hue
Kuch khoon ke dhabbe aaj bhi rang ki parton ke neeche dafn hain
Jhagadne waale kab ke chale gaye
In subooton ko yahan dafnaa kar
Meri seedhiyon per pyaar bhi parwaan chadhaa
Chhat ko jaane waali seedhiyon per
Bichadna neeche hi hota hai.
Barsaaton se muqaabla karta raha main
Per waqt ne halaat ne ghaflat ne
Mujhe kamzor kar diya
Ye ek shakhs jo aaj mujhe ghar kehta hai
Ek waqt tha aisa bhi ke yeh
Mujhe chhod ke jaane waala tha
Per jab iski maa ki mitti yahan se uthi
To wo jaise yahin baith gaya
Shayad apne maa ke aks to dhoondh raha hai
Mere un tukdon mein jo ab har manzil se girne lage hain
Kya usey nahin maaloom main to bus ik bejaan imaarat hoon
Uski kami main kahan se poori kar paaunga
Per mujhe pata hai uska dard
Jab wo raaton ko sota nahin hai
Apni maa se baatein na kar paane per
Jab wo apne bachhon ko kahaniyan sunaata hai
Wohi jo usko sunayee thi uski maa ne
Jab wo us sandook ko kabhi kabhi khol kar rota hai
Jisme uski maa ne kapdon ke tukde yunhi rakh diye thhey, aadatan
Jab wo har khidki se us barsaat ke intezaar karta hai
Jo ab kabhi na aayegi
Ab koi us georgette ka dupatta pehenta hi nahin
Jiske kone se uski aank poochi jaati thi
Jaise regmal ka kagaz mall gaya ho
Per surma lagne se pehle bhag jaata tha wo
Maine sab dekha hai
Main sab jaanta hoon
Per main to imarat hoon
Uski maa nahin hoon
Mujhse jitna ban paayega ho chuka
Ab main bhi tukdon mein mil raha hoon
Usi mitti se jisper mein khadaa hoon
Per yahi soch kar khada hoon ki
Apne is makeen ko kya kahun
Iska kya karun
Isse yeh bhi to nahin keh sakta main bezubaan
Ki wo jo iske saath apni zindagi guzaar rahi hai
Wo jiska bachpan kisi aur imarat mein guzra
Kharch ho rahi hai jo iske saath resha resha paravrish ke bazaar mein, baccho ke wastey
Wo bhi to hai meri tarah, kabhi teer ki tarah seedhi
Ab umr aur humsafari ke bojh tale jhukti jaa rahi hai
Iske bachchon ki maa
Main to uske baare mein soch ke pareshaan hoon
Main kya karun
Ye kahaani mujhse phir na dekhi jayegi
Main kya karun

Tuesday, August 4, 2015

Tha ek kagaz kora sa

Tha ek kagaz kora sa, 
kuch dhabbe roshnaii ke
umad'te arzoo-on ki khalish, 
kuch khaab rihaee ke

ik nigaah palat'ti hui 
pard'on mein simat'tee hui
kuch inayat hasrat ki, 
kuch pinjare duhaee ke

dooobti hain khwahishain
Girne se us nigaah ke, 
faaslon mein dard ke
hausle qaraar ke

pareshan hai kehkashaan
dil lage sambhaal ke
daud na jaye phir se ye
Lamhe chand visaal ke

Saturday, July 25, 2015

sher Misaal

Hum misaal banne ko hi paida hue thhey goya,
Main maar diya gaya, tum maar diye gaye

Sunday, July 12, 2015

Bhantai Ghazal


BHANTAI GHAZAL

Ek shaq hai ek jo apne ko roj kha raila hai
Time pass hai ki time apun ko kha raila hai

auto ne band bajaa diyeli hai traffic ki 
Aur shareauto full, bus khali jaa raila hai

Malum nahin is sheher ko agla kaun choosega
Jo choosta nahin wo siddhaa khaa raila hai.

Omlet pau ko raste pe laane ke baad punter
hotel mein ja ke vada sambhar kha raila hai

Ye phoolon ki sej bhi solid hoingi nahin?
Apun to jaanu ko fattar per le ke ja raila hai

Beta din bhar gaadi mein babes firaa raila
Aur baap roj local se Marine Lines jaa raila hai

Waise mere dost sab type ke hain lekin
Jo building nahin banaa raila wo film bana raila hai

Waise ye shehar kisi saanp se kam nahin "Quateel"
Apne ko paida kiya abhi roz kha raila hai

22 July 2013

Friday, April 10, 2015

R K Laxman - A Tribute

"No but you write about all those things. roads, cables and fire brigade bambas. Why didn't you write about him? He's a great man."... it was then that I decided to poke fun...'But is he a patriot? .."yes"...He was not at the border with a gun so that we could sleep peacefully. And you know there's no other kind"..that got his goat. My friend with whom I was having this conversation is one of those people who post pictures of military martyrs,  personnel, ex-forces politicos of a certain hue and then give them lakhs of 'salute'. This net widens occasionally and only slightly to include other people, but mostly no other living members except of some dubious freedom fighter, a nameless anonymous do gooder, and except APJA Kalam and Ratan Tata (who is on course to be our future President). Sometimes he will rediscover 'LB shastri' with such arrogance as if he is the onlly one who remembers him. Of course no 'liberals' or 'socialists'. Seculars? Hahahaha. Sometimes I feel sorry for him, sometimes I envy his simple outlook. Other times I pity his programming.

So here he was asking me if I hadn't grown up with RK Laxman's cartoons.
And if so why hadn't I also written an obit-like piece on my wall. He of course had in his self righteous, pompous way with all the attendant sirs and salutes. I told him I didn't feel like it. Which is something he didn't understand. He had on previous occasions said in passing that he didnt care much for what I wrote. So I was piqued by his asking why no obit?.. Oh he had liked that review of PK where i'd panned it. But I guess his reasons were different. 
So here goes. Much delayed and much affronted.
----------line drawn here-----‎
Death has a cleansing quality. Sanitising. It precludes the chance that the deceased can do any damage beyond previous work. Laxman while ill and paralysed could have uttered something while alive that the likes of this fellow would have disliked. And this fellow's type takes offence easily. Even easier is for him to ban things. The last I heard he had banned brinjal in his house. Not forbiddden, banned. Ban is a favourite word. But dead all Laxman has left is a legacy. Praising him will accrue to the praiser Laxman's  belief of free speech. Simple. It will hue others preception of the praisers personality with Laxman's wit. And darken the shadoows of doubt that exist on the praisers motivation.

I remember waking up to Laxman. In a no morning tv India his You Said It was the one bright spot in a kids morning. You Said It was often the most entertaining satirical thing that Times of India carried. All other times it was carrying the candle for the establishment and the Indian express was carrying the torch to burn that candle down. But we never read the Express.

On Sundays the treat was in the form off a much bigger cartoon! Subconsciously his targets became my targets and they kept moving. In one while Indira Gandhi was trying to cope with a problem child, in yet another she was the problem. His cartoons drew circles around both government and opposition, the majority and the minority communalists, the bureaucrats and the mob. The Indians and the foreigners (yes there was a time when we had a foreign policy and we did not call it a strategy)

His work introduced me to the tenets of democracy and free speech. Criticism was fearless and elegant. And it didnt differentiate. 
But today, I suspect those virtues would be seen as meddlesome. Despite the advances in media, we have made even more advances in bigotry, parochialism, trivialism, and all other isms. Acolytes of dummy leaders would have banned him and burnt his house down. 

What I now like about him was how he went about his work. Letting it speak. Not presuming for a moment how his work impacted others. Appreciate it more when i see a television anchor, the flaring nostril of self righteousness and keeper of national know how without reservation announces that 'Twitter meets Arnob!'. Its as if the mountain came.

Laxman's felicity did not stop at exaggerating the features of the leaders. Morarji's ears, Indira's nose, Rajiv's expression which we have now learnt is Rahul's trademark. Kapils buck teeth, Amitabh's lugubrious-ness all were driven home without a doubt. He excelled with Malgudi days too. Asian paints mascot Gattu was his creation. I for one would have liked him to do a comic strip. Like Spiderman. But that was not to be. Like many things in life. Mine and his. 
I have been suitably impressed by his obsession with crows to in my way adopt it. Those incredibly urban squabblly squatters. Sometimes it is a taxing tribute.‎





Saturday, January 31, 2015

Koi karta nahin vaada nibhaane ko

koi karta nahin vaada yahan nibhaane ko 
aur bhool se jaan leta hoon main zamane ko 

Jo baha aaya tha main samandar mein 
wo tere khat aaj laute mujhe jalaane ko 

tere peeche kisi se roothta bhi nahin 
ab na aayega koi mujhe manaane ko 

pata hi nahin kab saans rok di meri wo haath aaye thhey sar dabaane ko 

vehshat hoti hai jab khamoshiyon mein 
bachchon se kehta hoon shor machaane ko 

humare darmiyaan faasle ki kami na thi 
so main bhi chal padaa use mitaane ko 

'Quateel' koi rasta nikalo ki manzilein 
milti nahin raaston ke diwaane ko

Auto Reverie and Rant 2

SUV Sporty Urban Vehicle (warning: This may be indirect and long) 
Sleep deprived people should write things of more creative nature and import. However, having once seen the picture, I have realised that the world has now crossed a certain point of no return. The old order can never be restored. So let me lament. Bentley wants to make an SUV.( If that is not a very big deal to you, please stop and read something else. this will be boring.) I saw a picture of a prototype. Planned to be the most expensive SUV in the world. This beautiful defeat of logic and reason will probably sell out. And be acclaimed as a unique achievement. But for people like me who have admired the brand even when it was a means for Rolls Royce to shore up failing numbers, its another sell out. To know the true story lets rewind a few years back to another country and another marque. Porsche, the partner in crime for balding dentists provided them with chick magnets like the 911 which were death traps in more ways than one and only those of a recent vintage got a decent steering system. Recently in my book is 20 years ago. But these were cars people salivated over. Porsche like a few illustrious marques was desirable. Crazy yes, impractical yes, but by God! people wanted one. The only ones you saw were bright, bug eyed, had a loud roar and an old guy in it with a young woman. So what did the Porsche people do? Porsche had one best seller, a few middling ones, and nothing selling the numbers they wanted. So they ( greedy parents Volkswagen) decided Porsche would be in all big segments of automobiles. Enter the 4WD devil, the Cayenne. I can see Mephistopheles having to hire a truck just to carry away the Porsche contract. He was true to his bargain and soccer moms and other such low motoring castes who buy an obscene number of cars started buying the practical Porsches. The sales went through the roof, still are very high and likely to be like this in future too. Not content with committing this sin, the accountants who run Volkswagen decided to launch another vehicle in the biggest segment. the Sedan. By the way, their own luxury Volkwagen Phaeton despite being a very good car could not sell enough pieces to survive. Enter the Porsche Panamera. Uberluxurious. Superfast. 4 door. Nausea inducing sight. I learnt that it's more spacious than a regular 7 series! I am reminded of the tale of the man with the goose that laid golden eggs. The 911 has been compromised. Do these people think at all beyond one development cycle? Are sales numbers so important that the future has to be mortally wounded? Is the sports car market a stagnant one? No. Maclaren, Lamborghini, Bugatti, Noble, Spykar and God knows who else is making progress by selling more cars than before. So its not like the segment is shrinking. But people like the folks at Volkswagen/Porsche are not thinking straight. One question. Where do luxury brands emerge from? answer: Some company or investor takes over a small sometimes unknown brand making say shoes and nothing else. very small and very exclusive with high quality craftsmanship and service. No matter how high the price the revenues of this business will never be like Bata will it? its happening right now with Berluti, the Italian uber shoemaker. But i think now they (LVMH) are going a bit easy on the 'massification' (read that as opening hoity toity stores in cities such as Shanghai and New Delhi and selling everything. from scarves to wallets to bags to pens to clothes and of course shoes). so they will wait a bit longer. better but not by much. So back to Porsche and actually back to Bentley. But it was not a Bentley whose picture I am talking about. Everyone knows the Italians and cars have a good relationship. Fiat, Alfa Romeo, Lancia, Lamborghini are all stars of automobile history but none enjoys the prime position that Ferrari enjoys in the mind of the enthusiast. And while we may consider Ferrari as a product of pure passion only, there are many reasons why the marque has been so for decades. It has made mistakes but on no account has it deviated from the straight and narrow. We were taught how it never advertised. and how its events were the only marketing it did. It didn't need to do that. Its a bit like Harvard. It has enough alumni who if they just send their kids, Harvard will not need students from outside this network. So if Ferrari enthusiasts love the marque it is not just because of the model they owned, it because of the entire story, experience, exclusivity of the brand. The magic. The chap who understood this and ran Ferrari on these lines for many years, Luca Cordero de Montezemolo (we'll refer to him as Luca, as we are always on first name basis with him) never messed with the brand. He knew what Porsche did was delayed suicide. He knew that his audience wanted a car that stood for what Ferrari means. But the Bosses at Fiat Chrysler (once great, now like Marge Simpson's two sisters who get married to each other) decided that he is not implementing strategy. So he should make way for someone who does. I wouldnt be surprised if Ferrari sometime in the future launch 'the worlds raciest 4 door'... Vinashkaale vipareet buddhi. ( it means when your destruction is fated, your power to think goes away first.) So far I haven't heard any news of an impending launch sedan or suv from Ferrari, but i fear that with Luca out of the way, it's but a matter of time. So the picture I would have seen is not of a Ferrari. So what was the picture i saw,? It was about the soon to be launched Jaguar SUV. soon to be the world's SUV. I was immensely disappointed in JLR when I saw that, but as I come to the end of this piece, I realise that unlike other makers Jaguar never promised great exclusivity. And I remembered that they are owned by Tata Motors. Which isn't a car company in any case.